Another day, another homer for our man Hank. This time White drilled a three run shot off of Jason Johnson, putting a swing on the ball so sweet that the insulin pump that Johnson wears on his belt kicked into high gear at the mere sight.
Currently (it’s 7:26 p.m. CDT — Fifth inning, Cubs lead 6-3) Hank is singlehandedly holding off a cold front and a line of thunderstorms so that the Cubs will have a shot at a rare win, and can avoid a Wednesday doubleheader (nobody wants to spend an extra minute in the Land of Cleve.)
The home run makes Hank 11 for this last 18 (.611) with three homers. When another round of All-Star votes are released this week, we fully expect Whitey to have vaulted hacks like Paul LoDuca and Mike Matheny into the NL lead.
Besides, we’re only about two days from Deadspin alleging that Hank’s name is one of the redacted ones in the Jason Grimsley HGH case.
Hank, like all of us knows how you make a hormone.
Don’t pay her.