Hank’s not sure he wants to get into management

I hang out with enough douches most days.

While the Chicago Tribune is sure that our man Hank would make a great manager some day Hank’s not sure he wants to get into management.

“In the minors I worked at a Burger King for a few years.  You know, making some extra money when we weren’t on road trips.  It was kind of a fun job.  But we all thought our manager was a dick.  I remember one day during breakfast rush, he left his visor by the hash browns in the freezer, and we “accidentally” took it and threw it into the fryer.  Man, was he pissed.

“I guess I just never saw myself as a ‘suit.'”

Blanco has played under some of the best baseball managers in recent history.  Bobby Cox, Ron Gardenhire, Dusty Baker and now Lou Piniella.

“And Jerry Royster.  Don’t forget Jerry.”

How could we.

Hank says he’s learned something from all of them.

Cox: “Bobby’s a great guy.  He seems grumpier than he really is.  What I learned from him is that whenever you think the camera is on you in the dugout, and you don’t want it on you because the other team might use it to steal your signs…you start picking your nose.  Really dig in there.  They’ll stop showing you.  Or maybe that was one of the signs?”

Gardenhire: “Young players respond to ‘Gardy’ because he’s always got juice boxes in his office fridge.”

Baker: “Guys liked playing for Dusty because nothing was ever your fault.  Who doesn’t like that?”

Piniella: “Lou’s a lot like Bobby.  Only he doesn’t pick his nose as much.  He usually starts swearing when he thinks the camera is on him.  Good ones, too.  I’ve been around and Lou knows some good one.  I had no idea what a rim job was until I heard Lou yelling about one at a Fox camera guy.”

Will Hank rethink his managerial options when his career is over?

“Probably.  As long as I don’t have to wear wristbands and a chomp on a toothpick all game.  I mean, really, who’s gonna buy that act?”

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10 responses to “Hank’s not sure he wants to get into management

  1. Blanco would make a great manager. he seems to really know a lot about the game.

  2. Wow. this website is genius. like. wow. holy shit that was funny.

  3. I really doubt this is Hank saying any of this stuff.

  4. owned d. ass.

  5. h4nkwh1t3 4 lyf3

    you really should update this more often. so funny.

  6. update!!!!

  7. What does Hank think about Geo going to the AllStar Game? Update please.

  8. suzyn waldman

    Oh my goodness gracious!

  9. even lou is afraid of Z, he sends Hank out to deal with him. that’s management material.

  10. I will give you money to update.

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